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[gorobo]

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Comments

[lilcomputer]

She nodded, she was glad he took her hand, even smiling a little bit at him.

"It's okay to be angry, I get angry sometimes still."

[gorobo]

Is it right for him to be angry? It sure as hell doesn't feel that way. At every turn, people are telling him he should be grateful. That he shouldn't be so selfish. They helped free him from Shido, and that he's spitting in their faces for it.

Either they were right in making that choice and you should be grateful to have your life back. Or they were wrong and you should have died back then. Which is it?

The fact that a kid like Amada asked that of him stings all the more. Why the hell does he keep getting chewed out by kids? What kind of fucking question is that?

... Should he have died? Would it even have had any effect? People just respawn here, don't they? Wouldn't it just have kicked the can down the road? No- no, he still needs to kill Shido. Of course he can't die before doing so. But why the hell does that mean he needs to be grateful for what they did to him?

He notices to late that he's scowling again, and makes an effort to wipe it away, for Futaba's sake. He doesn't want her to think he's angry at her. He properly grabs her hand, and gives it a gentle squeeze.

He's still unsure of what to say. He doesn't know if he can without fucking up.

[herewardbound]

He sighed, quietly. "About what happened..." Asking 'what could they have done better' wouldn't be helpful. It would be accusatory. A useless excercise.

"I've had someone in my head before. I know... what it's like, to be a puppet with someone else pulling the strings. I... couldn't leave anyone like that. Not if I had the power to stop it. I think the others felt the same, and it's possible that we could've set out with the best of intentions... and still gone about it entirely the wrong way. What's done is done, and we can't take it back. And for the hurt that's caused you, I'm genuinely sorry. I want to make it right. Be better than I was."

[gorobo]

"... God," he huffs, "stop apologizing already."

It slips out before he can stop himself, bitter and dark. Shit- this is why he wasn't saying anything. He glances at Futaba, gauging if he's upsetting her.

"It's as you said; what's done is done," he says, trying to lift his voice a little, but he's unsure how well it works, "and you've already done a better job at trying than some individuals."

Crow. Drake. And, much as he loathes the way his anger overtakes him, Ken. He wrote it off before as Ken not knowing what he was getting himself into, but-

Kid clearly knew after all. He may just be a kid, but- God. Fuck.

"All of you, that is." He tries to redirect his anger once more, but it just festers.

[herewardbound]

He held up his hands placatingly. "Alright, last time. Still, shitty that people haven't at least reached out to you about it."

He paused. "Actually, given what went down with Drake, I can understand why he didn't. Doesn't make it less shitty, but I get it. Hard to reach out to others when you're already drowning. Crow... should've said something before now. I don't think he thinks he shits rainbows, but I think he thinks he's expected to, somehow. I sure as hell couldn't manage..."

Raven, Ren, Aki, Hawk... Technically Hiro now, too. "What, five children, and he wasn't even an adult when he got here? Insane."