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(OOC: Inbox is open for messages, calls, and general interactions. Just specify which one it is!)
Thank you, and have a nice day!
You have this number, so feel free to leave a message.
(OOC: Inbox is open for messages, calls, and general interactions. Just specify which one it is!)
no subject
Hello again.
First and foremost, I wanted to apologize. What I said about getting off on the wrong foot wasn't entirely a lie, but the fact remains that I lured you into a situation without your consent.
You deserve to know how it came to that.
Aragaki-san messaged me with information regarding your 'true nature.' We had concerns that the way you reacted wasn't entirely of your own volition. It seemed troubling that you would become so hostile at my criticisms of Shido and then suddenly snap back into place when Crow arrived.
I contacted Futaba-san shortly after because she seemed the most qualified. A group chat was made not long after, wherein plans were made to try and find a way to break you free from Shido's influence, assuming it was forced upon you.
I was selected as "bait" because I was the least likely to rouse suspicion. It was Phoenix's idea to use a Palace. The others came as backup in case everything went awry.
None of us wanted to hurt you, but obviously, there's no disputing the fact that we effectively went inside your mind. Our plan involved tampering with you, and if you were truly tampered with before, I know that such actions, regardless of intention, must have brought back painful memories.
I can only hope that in time you will be able to find some form of happiness. Good intentions or not, you are not obligated to treat us with forgiveness and understanding.
That's all.
no subject
I honestly don't know what you want me to say right now.
I'll put it plainly; I am furious with all of you. I feel violated. It feels like there is something stuck inside of me that I cannot get out. It is foreign, and it is awful, and if I could physically rip it out, I would. I was deceived, cornered, put down like an animal, and then hacked, like I was nothing more than an inanimate object in need of 'correction', but then, that's what I was, wasn't I? What I am, am I not?
It is hard for me to trust that this will not backfire on me at any point, or turn me into someone's newest plaything, or self-destruct if I do something one of you doesn't like. I don't even know if writing this will trigger something like that. Will I even care if it does at this point? Does it even matter?
Do you know what it's like to physically feel someone rooting around in your mind? To feel them change the way you think? The way you act? To feel yourself change from the inside out, and there is nothing you can do?
I'd wager you don't, and you better keep it that way. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's violating in a way words cannot describe.
That all being said, I do understand why you all did what you did. It is understandable that you'd want to neuter something that can and will kill for simply saying the wrong words. For what it's worth, I truly did not wish to harm you, or act the way I did towards anyone else. It wasn't my choice to do so, believe me, but that didn't make this intervention any less necessary, did it?
I don't like it. Not one bit. If I'd had the choice, I would've liked to do it while I was fully aware of what was going to happen, or rather: not have it be needed at all. I am not ungrateful that Futaba managed to disable Shido's bug, far from it, but I cannot divorce my previous experiences from what happened the other day.
Having had the time to think about it, I can't say it wasn't warranted. I can't say I blame any of you for doing what you did. I won't hold it against you, but that does not mean I am ready to forgive any of you, either.
If you truly mean anything of what you said, I may be amenable to speaking again in person, but not now. I'm sure you understand.
Take care.
no subject
Should he reply? Or should he leave it be? It's hard to say.]
I don't think you're an object. That we "needed" to intervene doesn't change the fact that we did so without clear consent or communication.
We weren't sure how else to approach it, but whatever excuses we could make don't change the fact that you were hurt by our actions. None of them should expect you to be happy, let alone forgive us.
I don't blame you for the things you said before. I understand that they likely weren't by choice. It hurt, but whatever pain it brought certainly pales in comparison toward something so dire as intruding upon your very being.
You deserve time and space to process everything at your own pace.