gorobo | IC Inbox

"Hildr." She answered simply. She didn't really understand what he was thinking or why he was asking these questions. She'd just go along with it. Sometimes it lead somewhere. Sometimes it didn't.

"It doesn't feel as sturdy. I don't know. I don't feel sure of her. I know I do when I want to protect others but not myself. I guess what's what she manifested from anyways."

That's...

He doesn't know what to think. Loki and Robin have always come when he needed them, from the moment he awakened. They stopped being as talkative after... Shido, certainly, but they've never failed to heed his call.

A Persona is a soul manifest. If Futaba's Persona doesn't appear consistently, then...?

"Well," he says, after hearing her out, "I don't know for sure, but... don't you-"

Wait, fuck, backtracking, he is talking to a small child, he is not asking her if she doesn't want to protect herself.

"-don't you think that you shouldn't have to protect others?" He course-corrects. Nailed it. "Or yourself, for that matter. You're still very young, aren't you? I think..." he pauses, briefly, trying to find the words, "... I think you shouldn't have to, anyway. I know it doesn't always work like that, in the real world, but..."

He trails off. He's not sure where he's going with this.

"I don't want to be helpless. I want to protect mom!" She shouted. Before covering her mouth and taking a breath.

"She's scared of the men in black. I want to be able to protect her from them. I want to protect Phoenix and Renée like they protected me." Tears welled up in her eyes.

He almost winces. Yeah, maybe he should've expected that outburst, but also... god. She's just a little kid.

A little kid whose mother he killed- not in her timeline, not yet, but-

Shit, she's crying. What does he do?

"I'm sure Phoenix and Renée wouldn't want you risking yourself to protect them," he says gently, carding his hands together. "I'm sure your mom doesn't, either."

Still, it's not like he doesn't understand how she feels. All he ever wanted himself was...

... Well. Maybe he can still do something right.

"I can help you, if you'd like," he tells her, "protect the people dear to you, I mean. That's what my mom made me for."

Edited 2024-06-18 17:45 (UTC)

She looked at him wiping her eyes. "We can't travel across worlds. I have to get stronger on my own."

She wanted to travel. She wanted to meet Phoenix's family, he felt like he safe place now and she didn't like the idea of being apart from that.

Renée was a special case, she was a velvet room attendant, so she didn't know if the same rules applied but at least she met her family.

"I have to protect mom on my own."

"..."

She's not wrong. He can't deny what she's saying, but even so...

"How about this?" he says, looking at her. This feels like the stupidest thing he's ever going to say, but maybe, just maybe- "I'll help you grow stronger. I'll even see if I can teach you how to use your Persona properly. You like Phoenix and Renée, yes? I'll try to protect them too, until you are strong enough to do so on your own."

Ideally, that's not for a while... but if nothing else, it's important that she stays safe until she can properly protect herself. Not that power is everything- he learned that the hard way, but still. She's just a little kid- he'll put aside his own... discomforts.

If she wants it, that is. It sounds like Phoenix and Renée are looking out for her already, in their own ways, but- well. He doesn't trust that as far as he can throw them, and he can throw an entire car out of the way, just to illustrate.

"And then, you can protect your mom too, right?"

"You mean it?" She asks softly. A little hesitant, a little nervous. She didn't know if she could rely on someone else. But he was another version of Phoenix. He hadn't led her wrong yet.

She could start to trust him. He had to prove it first. Then she could.

"If you want me to," he replies gently. Tries to, anyway, he's still a little awkward about it.

"It could be nice to have help." She said softly, glancing away. He was being strange so she really didn't want to force him into anything.

"Then, if you'll have me, I'll do my best to help you out," he says, "in return... you do your best to stay out of trouble. That is to say- tell someone if you're going off somewhere on your own."

He gives her a small smile, encouraging. Or he tries, anyway.

"How does that sound?"

She nods. "Okay, I can agree to that." She's a little nervous still, but it's better. He's there to help. And Phoenix will have more help too. Everyone gets help. Is there a downside. Maybe. She'd find out later.

"How do you feel about Phoenix anyways?"

He nods, relieved. He feels a little better knowing that she's okay with him keeping an eye out. "It's a deal then."

(A blue butterfly flutters near her shoulder. Magician, it says, before disappearing once more into nothingness.)

And then she asks about Phoenix, and Falcon doesn't flinch. She's direct, and he likes that, but...

"It's...," he trails off, because how does he start to even explain the whole situation? How does he tell a 10 year old 'oh yeah, he had a hand in hacking me. He did it for my own good, but goddamn did it fuck me up and I still don't completely trust that he's not going to turn around and fuck me up even further, despite all the evidence pointing against it'?

"... complicated," he settles on, folding his hands together. "It's complicated."

She now, more comfortable, moves to sit next to him. "What do you mean? Do you need my help pranking him?" Yes, because that's what she thinks fixes everything. Or at least can be a bonding experience for the both of them.

It's so- childish. Such a child's solution to a problem way more complicated than most could ever understand, and yet-

He lets out a small chuckle, looking at her sideways. "I don't think it'll help," he says, "but it's a nice thought. Giving him a taste of his own medicine."

Which is to say... a prank couldn't even come close to anything that happened, but it's a nice offer nonetheless.

She pouted. If that couldn't be a solution what could. "Can you talk to him?" She asked. She wanted to help him and Phoenix too.

She was going to fix their relationship herself! Then everything would be good.

"Well- we have been talking," he says. She's really invested in this, isn't she? "We're working on it, Futaba-chan, promise."

It's the truth, isn't it? He's... trying. And Phoenix is trying too. He hasn't forgiven Phoenix, and sometimes, just thinking about it makes him furious... but she doesn't need to know that.

"Do you think you are making progress?" she asked. Just talking is different than doing things.

"I can help if you want?"

"Perhaps a little," he makes a vague gesture with his hands. It's... hard to say. He likes to think they have (he's not threatening to shoot Phoenix on sight anymore, is he? That's progress, isn't it?). "You shouldn't worry about it, really."

She's a kid- that's not her job.

"Just focus on yourself, okay? We'll work it out."

He'll... try to, at least. He still hasn't forgiven Phoenix, nor does he think he ever will.

She looked him over. "Is it hard?" He seemed to be struggling a bit anyways.

She scooted a bit closer to him. Just barely touching him, a test of if she could do what she did with Phoenix or her mom.

He carefully doesn't flinch away from her- she doesn't mean any harm, she's a kid- but he can't quite help the twitch of anxiety that crosses his face. Sudden touch is still-

... Well. nevermind. That's not her fault. He won't hold it against her.

"... It is," he admits, "he didn't mean to, but he hurt me. Ah- that is- he's not a bad guy, Futaba-chan," he course-corrects immediately, shooting her an awkward grin, because he's not gonna dump his problems onto this kid. "It was just a really unfortunate situation. Really- don't worry about it."

Ah, fuck. He fucked up. This is why he's no good with kids.

"So your scared something is going to happen to hurt you again? So you think being upset is helping?" She asked softly. He was nervous with her touching him so she didn't push it and pulled back a bit.

"I know Phoenix isn't going to hurt me, I know he isn't bad. He reacted scared when I called him Dad on accident. He was terrified when I went to mementos. He's never been upset even when I felt like I've been too clingy or too much."

His face drops the smile slightly at her words -wow, she doesn't mince them, does she- but it is a relief when she pulls back. It feels wrong, she didn't do anything, but it feels better like this.

(How fucked up is he that he can't even stand the sudden touch of a kid?)

Of course he's still upset. He- he is scared, so fucking scared sometimes, when he stops distracting himself with missions or nature or learning or anything, and feels the foreign files they put in him sitting there, menacingly, but he's not going to just say that.

He knows it doesn't help. It doesn't make it just go away.

"I- well," he struggles to find the proper words. Do not fucking snap at the kid who has nothing to do with it, oh my god. "I'm trying. It's a lot better than it was at first, really."

There. Diplomatic.

Then-

"... You called him dad?" he tilts his head at her, smirking. "Him, really?" He can't help his snort, but still.

"He's been good to you, huh."

"He's been really good to me." Guess none of them could imagine being called dad. Must be a weird thing for them. They seemed to at least handle kids pretty well.

"Are you scared of people?"

Her question hits him, and he wants to deny it immediately. Of course he's not afraid of people- he's a weapon, for crying out loud. Not that he's exactly eager to do so, but if he wanted, he could full just about anyone with lead before they even realize what's going on. Why would he be afraid of people when he can be such a danger to them?

He's not. He's not afraid of people. He's just... rightfully wary, knowing what they can do. Knowing what they have done.

Knowing what he can do.

"Of course not," he says, perhaps a little too late, "but being cautious can't hurt." He looks at her. "That's why I'm worried about you handling a gun, or going to Tartarus. It's just being cautious- and that's a good thing, wouldn't you agree?"

It's probably not a subtle of a topic change as he thinks it is.

"I'm scared of people." She said softly. She let that sink in. The person she was closest to was a bird. The next was obviously not human and you could tell just by looking at her eyes.

The next person Futaba had approached without fear was a robot. A robot she knew was another version of the bird.

"People hurt others. People hurt Mom. I know shadows are from humanity. I know palaces are distorted desires. People.... they aren't good. I know most of the people here are murders."

Edited 2024-06-21 20:11 (UTC)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject